Tag Archives: Events

Rethinking Special Event Goals

I’d rather iron a stack of 100% cotton clothes than do an event, but I have done a lot of them and know you should have a goal for them.  Let me rephrase that.  A good goal.

I fail to see the  purpose of a contest of drawing  a cartoon of Mohammed,  unless you just want to irritate ISIS and the rest of the Islamic world.  EVERYONE knows Moslems are testy about images of Mohammed.  They just shot up that publication in France over it.  What’s Wrong With You People Just Outside of Dallas?

Since this took place in Southern Baptist land, I’ll spell this out in Southern Baptist language.

This is like how y’all don’t like it when folks paint pictures of folks urinating—sorry, pee-pee-ing on Jesus, ok?  Except, I know, y’all don’t usually run around killing people who do it; you just mutter about how they’re gonna go to hell and all? Well the Moslems, or extremist Islamists anyway, see, they will kill, you.  I mean keeeel you.  Chop off your head.  Or, iffen they be in a real hurry, they’ll just shoot you.  Either way you’ll be dead/daid.

So even if you decide you don’t want to respect their religion?  Remember they WILL KILL (KEEEL) you.  Dead.  DAID. Deader than a Door Nail.  Feet sticken straight up dead.

So, next time you’re thinking about having a special event, stick to the pie-eating contest, or see how many hot dogs you can stuff down in 20 minutes…

Or maybe you’d like to sell a house (we did a lot of events opening new home communities in the 1980s —petting zoos for the kids and margaritas for the adults so they could traipse all over the model homes and as my sister said “look at the furhn-a-chur.”

Now,  I don’t think there was any return on the investment on those open houses, but developers sure did like to do them and I handed out a ton of white roses and had my picture taken with a lot of look-a-like celebrities and got some real bad headaches…but I digress…

My point: do not have an event just so a group of people will KEEEL you.  Try to make some kind of money….even though events usually won’t.